Hark! It is National Shakespeare Day, good gentlefolk! And in fair Hopium Springs, where we lay our scene, we celebrate not with fanfare and frilly collars alone—but with mirth, movement, and mindful homage to the wellness wisdom of the Bard.
For did not sweet Will write:
“Our bodies are our gardens, to the which our wills are gardeners”?
— Othello, Act 1, Scene 3
Indeed, our fleshly vessels need tending, lest weeds of sloth and excess sprout unchecked. So today, let us raise our green smoothies and oatcakes in tribute, whilst adopting yon customs most Elizabethan and health-affirming.
Talk Like the Bard, Feel Like a Lord
Today, we bid thee cast aside plain speech. Nay, speak not “It’s fine,” but rather:
- “’Tis well.”
- “I’ll do’t anon.”
- “’Twould please me greatly.”
Verily, for bonus delight, add -eth to thy verbs:
- “She walketh daily!”
- “He snacketh not on donuts!”
- “The doctor recommendeth kale.”
Move Thy Limbs, Lest They Rust
Would Hamlet have been so glum if he’d gotten his steps in? Methinks not. On this most poetic of days:
- Take a jaunt ‘round thy castle grounds (or neighborhood)
- Partake in thy midday stretch, lest thy joints creak like oaken doors
- Dance like thine enemies hath been vanquished
Bonus: Whisper lines from Macbeth or Much Ado whilst lunging. ’Tis cardio with flair.
Feast, But Not Like Falstaff
Nay, we shun the greasy mutton and treacle tarts (at least till Saturday). Instead, dine like Portia:
- Berries, nuts, and leafy greens aplenty
- Herbal teas steeped in reason
- And forsooth, hydrate as though you’d crossed the blasted heath
One Final Line to Kindle Thy Soul
“Health, my lord, what is’t but a name?”
— Troilus and Cressida, Act 2, Scene 3
Ah—but we know better. Health is the truest wealth, the kingdom we each must guard. So today, let us laugh loud, speaketh strangely, and walketh oft—for the Bard doth smile upon the lively.
From all of us at Hopium Health: Go forth, noble friends, and Shakespeare thy way to wellness!
(And share thy best Elizabethan quip in the comments below. The wittiest wins a virtual crown.)
